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A battle won after many years

If you’re reading this, chances are that you know I advocate for agunot. What you may or may not know is that there is one in particular for whom I have personally battled now for years.

It is completely understandable that those who have not seen what a woman goes through just to be free of a man she does not want to be married to, cannot really comprehend what goes on when the man says no.

Far from having to battle only the person who refuses to let her go, she must battle a system in which she is the acted upon, but is never the acting party. Her fate is decided not only by the man she trusted with her life and freedom, but also three men that she does not know and that do not know her.

I am unable to go in to the details at this moment. But those who know me, can accept my word when I say that this case had not only a man ruled by spite, arrogance, and apathy, but also corruption, incompetence & apathy of some at the Jerusalem Beit Din.
It has been years of pain and often I felt it was my own sanity I was battling for. I sit here shaking in tears.

It is difficult to believe that it is really over. But today, I went into the Jerusalem Beit Din and picked up the final document. Though her get was given over 3 years ago, the court never released her certificate of divorce… only a changing of the guard and tremendous pressure enabled this to happen.

I must must thank Rabbi Seth Farber of ITIM who for me is a true warrior for the Jewish people and deserves the highest regard. I thank Rabbi Jeremy Stern for his guidance. I thank Rabbanit Adina Bar Shalom who petitioned her father R Ovadia Yosef z’l and her brother over the years, I thank Rabbi David Lau who in the end was the one who saw this through and the Toenet Rabbanit Shlomit Beer who unfailingly and to her own detriment at times, represented the agunah.

I thank Hashem for giving me the zchut to do my part in helping her and I thank her for her faith, courage and tremendous strength. Undoubtedly this battle has shaped who I am and what I do.

I close with a bracha that all women should have wonderful marriages, but that those who don’t should be able to be free without pain and suffering.

PLEASE do not allow this to happen to your daughter, sister, friend. PLEASE make sure they all sign halachic prenups AND advocate for agunot. Make this cause the #1 thing on every rabbi’s mind. Drive them nuts. There is no other way this will ever get changed. No one should spend their lives trapped by another.

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SKJ speaks internationally about Judaism, women, Israel, Zionism, anti semitism, and effective activism – or just how to not let people drive you crazy. She has been hosted in the US, the UK and Israel at synagogues, Jewish community centers, conferences and private events.